stoptryin2dancewithme

NAME: sully

AGE: 54

SEX: male

LOCATION: new rochelle, new york

OCCUPATION: underwater welder/children's magician

1. So you're a children's magician. That seems a bit creepy. Can you actually do tricks or do you just suck?

Sully: Well, I've actually got a few of my better tricks in my van that's parked around the block if you'd like to follow me over there I would love to surprise you.

Me: Uhh, I think I'm gonna pass but thanks for the offer, it was very ummm generous of you? Rain check maybe?

Sully: Oh yes, absolutely. Hey, listen would you mind if I ask you a question?

Me: Yeah that's not a good idea. I'm gonna say no questions.

Sully: Well uh okay, I just believe you are a very attractive woman. I can tell you're very seasoned even though you appear quite young. I was simply curious as to whether or not you had a significant other and if not, would you like one? Do you even enjoy men? Ahahaha

Me: Whoa whoa, you're crossing the line buddy but I like it. Let's get through these questions and I'll let you buy me a Jameson with a Bud back.

Sully: Okay, Okay let's go! Shoot!

2. What are your feelings on edible arrangements? You know the baskets of fruit that are designed to look like bouquets of flowers.

Sully: That's quite the question there you little minx. Is this a hint? Would you like me to buy you an edible arrangement? Ahahaha I don't know if you should write that down. I'm not too familiar with them. I have only seen three maybe four, it's alright in my book though. It's beautiful, practical, tastes delicious, probably just like you. 

Me: Oh dear sir. You have officially crossed that line and I must terminate this interview. But you know, if you weren't you, you could easily play a creepy underwater welder who preforms magic and sexually offends people while listening to Jimmy Buffet in the back of his van in a Lifetime movie.